Ashes Don't Wait
by fanfictioner22
Summary: Kurenai watches her beautiful queen Mirai grow, as she inhales the faint scent of smoke and ash in the air, she thinks of a man that could not return.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.

 **Beta:** Asuka Rae –She is awesome! Check her out-

* * *

"You are leaving." the owner of the voice spat from the shadows. "And you are not even going to say goodbye."

The teenager shouldered his duffle bag tighter, for once a cigarette absent from his lips. "You know I'm not good with goodbyes, Kurenai."

Kurenai left the safety of the shadowed back alley. Her midnight hair swayed in the evening breeze but not even the wind could cool down the fire blazing in her red eyes. She sneered at Asuma, the sound a mix of hurt and anger.

"That's a pathetic excuse Asuma."

Asuma cursed inwardly. The genjutsu user was the last person he wanted to see right know. He hoped he could slip out the village without getting caught by his year mates.

He especially tried to avoid Kurenai.

"Sorry Red." he used the nickname he gave her in hopes she would mellow down. "I just can't stay with dad being the Hokage so..." he let it trail.

Kurenai snarled, and hit him hard on the chest. "How can you just leave the village?" _and me_ which was unspoken. She clenched her fists in his shirt, the smell of smoke drifted into her nose. The familiar scent made her lick her lips; she swallowed hard and stifled the tears before they could fall.

Kurenai closed her eyes and fought the tears threatening to fall. She was not going to cry, especially in front of him so she stepped back and shoved all of her emotions behind a fragile mask.

"Leaving won't change anything, Asuma."

Asuma winched from Kurenai's cold tone. The fire she had in her eyes moments ago threatening to burn him was replaced with emotionless rubies. His heart ached; he wanted to reach out and…

No. He had decided and would not leave his chosen path.

"Perhaps it won't, perhaps it will." Asuma murmured, wishing he had a cigarette. The nicotine would help soothe his nerves and aching heart.

"You will come back one day but things won't be the same." Kurenai informed him. "I won't wait for you."

There, she used her last card, her last hope. He was leaving because of his father but he might stay for her. Kurenai deeply hoped he would, she was not ready to be heartbroken.

"I never asked you to."

The words pierced the genjutsu user's heart like an arrow and Asuma immediately regretted his words.

 _No,_ he reminded himself. She deserved better than wait for someone who might never return. His hand sought his pocket and drew a cigarette which he quickly lit. Asuma inhaled deeply and hoped it covered his slightly trembling fingers.

Still imagining Kurenai with another man was enough to boil his blood. Holding another's hand, smiling to a stranger, kissing another man…

The wind user steeled his resolve. _Kurenai deserved better_. With those thoughts he turned his back and began his journey to the capital as one of the twelve ninja.

"Farewell Kurenai." The girl winced and closed her eyes; she just couldn't take it anymore.

He neither saw the shimmering tears nor the outstretched hand towards him.

Only when Asuma's back disappeared from her sight Kurenai fell hard on her knees. She didn't fight the sobs that racked her chest, she let her hurt and love turn into tears and let them fall. The scent of burnt tobacco drifted to her nose and she cried harder.

 _I couldn't stop him. I don't know why but when he said farewell… why I am so weak?_

* * *

Asuma walked inside the village, memories threading through him. Despite his disagreement with his father he still loved the village. He still loved _her._

It was too bad that he couldn't have her back.

A cigarette perched between his lips; Asuma strolled through the village taking in all the changes years brought. He should go and inform his father of his arrival but he didn't want to rush, Hokage-sama probably already knew he was in Konoha anyway.

Passing in front of a dumpling shop made him unconsciously stop. How many times did he sit here with _her?_ Eating perfectly homemade dumplings and just rant about everything and nothing? Even the gray fog the smoke created couldn't hide the memories.

Familiar voices made him turn and his cigarette fell down from between his lips in surprise. It never reached the floor as his reflexed kicked in and plucked the falling tobacco out of thin air. Asuma choked on thin air which was ironic in itself; dying through the element he so skillfully wielded.

Even after all these years Gai was still green and youthful as ever, and the masked silver haired man could only be Kakashi. He missed his friends dearly but what shocked him was the woman standing between them.

She was as beautiful as he remembered perhaps even more. The baby fat was gone leaving high cheek bones and curved jaw. Her midnight black hair as untamed as ever, was longer than he remembered. She changed from a little teenager to a strong young woman.

Kakashi was first to notice him. "Asuma, you are back."

Gai's head snapped so fast Asuma wondered how it was still attached to the taijutsu user's neck. "My youthful friend! You have finally returned to your origins. We should celebrate with my special curry."

Asuma listened the green beast's ramblings halfheartedly, he was too focused on Kurenai, whose red eyes were still the same.

Kakashi, aware of the not-so-subtle staring between the two he started to drag Gai by his collar while avoiding his flailing arms.

"You are back." Oh God, how he missed that voice. He gulped but his throat was drier than Suna's deserts.

"Yes."

They both stood in silence while crowds of people whizzed past them.

"Kurenai, I…"

Her brilliant red eyes zeroed on him, and caught him off-guard. "I have a mission to ready for." Kurenai told him coldly.

Asuma moistened his suddenly very dry lips. It was worse than he expected. "Is that so? See you around then."

She nodded and with quick hand seals disappeared.

Asuma groaned and took another cigarette from his breast pocket. He picked up his pace to the tower, wanting to see his father and go home under his bed covers as soon as possible.

 _She has every right to treat me like dirt._ He thought solemnly as he took a long drag from his addiction. The after smoke billowed from his mouth as he exhaled.

Weeks passed swiftly, days mashing together as Asuma tried to talk to Kurenai. He sought out the silver haired jonin and learned that the woman was single, always has been. With a renewed hope in his heart that perhaps she did waited for him made the wind user to really try to get her attention. But no matter what the red eyed woman always escaped from his grasp not even letting him talk.

Asuma had enough of the chase; he wanted to know if Kurenai still wanted to do be with him. He knew deep inside that he didn't deserve her however his heart ached to be together with his lover. So he cornered her, one cold evening while she was heading home.

"Kurenai, we need to talk." His voice was firm.

The genjutsu user's chest constricted painfully. How she missed hearing her name from his lips but her resolve was firm. _He left me behind._ "I have nothing to say to you."

Kurenai tried to step aside and walk away but the wind user took a hold on her forearm.

"Have you waited for me?"

She froze like a deer caught in the headlines her back to him. She couldn't answer right away as she didn't have an answer. Silence drag on soon into discomfort as each brewed in their thoughts. Kurenai hoped he would grow tired and leave her alone but Asuma stayed and waited patiently.

"What if I did?"

His answer was immediate. "I will treat you to dinner."

Her mouth curved to sad little smile that the Sarutobi heir couldn't see. "What if I didn't wait for you?" she was teasing him now, he was sure of it and went along with it.

"I'll camp in front your apartment until you cave in to give me a second chance."

She released a ragged breath, a sputtering sob that was neither a cry nor a laugh. Kurenai was torn apart; her heart wanted to turn and punch the man straight on the jaw and then kiss him senseless while her rational mind told her to leave. _He is the man who left you; he is the cause of your tears and sleepless nights._

"It's not that easy."

Asuma released the breath he was unconsciously holding. She didn't refuse.

"I can make it up to you Kurenai." Asuma pleaded desperately. "I won't abandon you ever again."

The genjutsu user wanted to believe Asuma but she was too hurt and wasn't ready for a second chance. _So why did I wait?_

"How can I be sure, Asuma? That you won't have another dispute with Hokage –sama and leave? How many _heart breaks_ do you think I can endure?"

She twirled around the blazing fire that captivated him the first time he met her, swirled in her eyes. Brown met red and Asuma without losing eye contact reached his pocket. Lean fingers opened up and a black velvety case was innocently resting on his palm. He calmly opened the box to show the small, golden ring with a single ruby resting in the middle.

She went rigid and Asuma wished he could have a smoke. Kurenai's gaze was still fixed on the ring, unmoving and silent.

When the silence started to get to him Asuma started to talk randomly. "I bought this ring the first day I arrived at the capital. It was in display and the moment I saw the ring it reminded me of you and how much I missed you so I bought it. I promised to myself if there was even a chance I could give it to you I would and..."

The wind user's words fell silent as Kurenai's lips collided with his. She crushed his lips against hers violently kissing Asuma with all her hurt over the years and love. Instantly his callused fingers cupped her delicate jaw and he deepened the kiss. Her long fingers caressed his cheeks to jaw and settled themselves on his neck. Soon their heads began to move back and forth slowly to the rhythm of their kissing.

Asuma released her lips and had to mentally hold himself back from not kissing her again. She was tempting with her flushed cheeks, dazed crimson eyes and swollen full red lips.

"Does this mean?"

Kurenai rolled her eyes, the taste of ash warming her lips. "Yes Asuma. Didn't the kiss explain enough?"

"Hmm I am not sure, I'll need another try." He dipped his head down and captured her smiling mouth with his, it was slower this time; his lips painfully gentle, apologizing for his absence.

"I won't leave ever again." He promised her and a ghost of a smile flitted over Kurenai's expression.

"You better not."

* * *

It was a sunny day, not a cloud dotted the endless sky. The streets were lively as ever, vendors speaking loudly to get attention, children playing around all in all it was a wonderful day and Kurenai hated it.

She found herself in front of a cold stone on a bright spring afternoon with the slight winter chill still in the air. An exquisite bouquet of forget-me-nots in her right hand and a small girl in a pretty blue dress standing to her left.

 _Asuma Sarutobi_ read the gravestone.

Oh how she missed the laid back man, she felt the pain of his absence keenly, as if there was something sharp wedged between her ribs as she breathed.

Little Mirai looked at her mother; she always got silent on the way to the cemetery and would stand beside her and let her always talk first.

"Hey daddy." Mirai said a tad confused. She still didn't understand how talking to a stone was talking to daddy. She saw her friends talk with their fathers all the time so why couldn't she talk to her father too? Why did Mirai have to talk to a stone that couldn't even respond?

"We are doing well, uncle Shika and Chou along with auntie Ino are fine too." she stopped not wanting to continue. No matter how many times mama said so she didn't like to talk to a piece of rock _. I'll tell everything to daddy himself when he comes home._

Content with this much she let go mamas hand and went to the gate. For some reason mama liked to talk to the rock; it must be a grown up thing Mirai thought as she watched a blue butterfly fly in circles around her.

"Our _queen_ is growing fast, Asuma." Kurenai's smiled bitterly as her heart leapt into her throat. "I wish you were here, watching Mirai grow, with me."

She lowered herself and sat on her heels; then gently she laid the forget-me-nots near his name. She was familiar with the stinging feeling of tears in her eyes; swiftly her finger traced the gold band around her finger, taking comfort by its familiar shape.

"She is so much like you that it sometimes hurt to look at her. She's a free spirit like the wind you wielded." Kurenai released a heavy, shuddering sigh that she felt building within herself since morning.

It was terribly tempting to just curl up near his grave and close her eyes but she held herself. With a deep breath and a careful glance around to make sure Mirai was still far away near the gate, her fingers stormed through hand seals. Kurenai, for someone without a sharingan, was a considered a prodigy when it came to illusions. It was easy for her to create an image from her mind and reflect it into reality.

And there he was crouched near the taunting stone, warm caramel eyes locked with hers; an ever present cigarette hang loosely between his smirking lips. İf Kurenai concentrated enough she could affect her own nose too, as she did the faint smell of smoke and ash enveloped her.

The mirage of her lover lifted his arm, his fingers reaching to caress her tear stained cheek. She chocked, delicate arms rising to cover her shaking shoulders. Kurenai stood, statue-still, and let the illusion disappear from her sight but not her heart.

"You promised me, the day you gave me the ring." She swallowed, her gaze dropping to read his name again. She pressed her lips together tighter and tried to gain her composure back.

"You promised to never leave me again." Kurenai whispered her next words. _"Liar."_

The red eyed woman stepped back from the grave; sparing one last longing glance, made her way to her little queen who was chasing a butterfly the same color as her dress.

She stood in front of the gate as the wind picked up, rustling tree's leaves and bringing a faint scent of ash which tickled Kurenai's nose. She huddled in her mind; imprinting the scent into her memory. Shifting slightly she watched Mirai and smiled for her, forcing her raging emotions back.

As she did in her teenager years, Kurenai will wait. Wait until the day she could see her wandering lover again. That's what she did best after all, not genjutsu or teaching genins bur wait.

Wait for a man that could never return.

* * *

I must thank fanofthisfiction, for pushing me to share this story who started an awesome movement called Fanfiction Review Moment. for more information check my profile or yuo can check out fanofthisfiction


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